Tour de France is a Tour de Farce

Sigh...I am disillusioned.

While I was able to make a post about Tour de France teams tackling the issue of doping here, it seems that not all teams are trying to do what Team Columbia and Team Garmin-Chipotle are doing. That is because, as of yesterday, three riders have been caught, one team has dropped out entirely, and another team sponsor will quit following the Tour because people still refuse to ride clean.

Riccardo Ricco, Manuel Beltran, and Moises Duenas Nevado are all gone from this year's Tour. Ricco's Saunier Duval team has since pulled out in disgrace. Team Barloworld, sponsor of Moises Duenas Nevado, will quit after the Tour ends, refusing to endorse a dirty team.

Honestly, I just don't get it. I don't understand how a person can be so "committed" to winning that they are willing to cheat to do it. Further, I don't understand how someone can live with such a win.

My parents taught me early on about the concept of a clean win. Agincourt and I have started playing gin these days as a break from our cribbage war. It is hard for me because it makes me miss my father. Gin is the first game he and I played together. He showed me no mercy, even as an eight year old little girl. He watched every card I threw away and would go out of his way to not play into what I needed. It took me forever to learn how to remember what cards had been played, but I did eventually. And eventually I was able to beat him.

My mom did the same thing for me. She was a swimmer before I was. She taught me everything I know. In fact, she is probably more in shape than I am because, at age 82, she is still a competitive Master's swimmer. Back when I was a wee thing, she and I would race. She would never ever let me win. I hated it. I hated every minute of it. I thought she should let me win something just because. Looking back, it was the best of lessons. She knew I could eventually beat her on my own. She knew that I would work to do it on my own. She never gave me an easy way out. I am a stronger person because of that.

This is where I have such an issue with what cheating riders in Le Tour are doing. I learned the hard way. Train hard, be dedicated, and win with what you can do on your own. If you can't win, then accept that...don't cheat to make it otherwise.

The Tour de France, the Olympics, baseball, football...all of these sports...if you want to be an athlete then be an athlete. Don't be a cheater. A cheater cheats themselves. A cheater cheats everyone else.

Simple as that.

Tour de France Teams Become a Tour de Force in the Fight Against Doping

I am a Tour de France fanatic. I think it started back in 1986 when Greg LeMond became the first American to win le Tour. I've watched it since then and my passion has increased in the last ten years. However, I am not immune to the doping scandals that have almost brought the cycling world to its knees in recent years. I find myself skeptical when it comes to my favorite athletes in the sport (yes, I do mean Lance Armstrong).

This year, thankfully, there are some teams fighting the doping status quo. There are two American teams in this year's Tour. This alone is feat. However, what is more, these teams are ramping up the doping testing in order to return the event to a clean one.

Both Team Garmin-Chipotle (Slipstream) and Team Columbia (Highroad) have signed on to this radical notion. Both teams are now under their own testing parameters monitored by the Agency for Cycling Ethics (ACE). The concept behind the testing done by ACE is both revolutionary and simplistic. Rather than simply testing an athlete after the race or on a few random occasions throughout the year, ACE is recreating the entire notion of doping testing:

Each Slipstream rider is tested not for the illegal substances, but for the body’s reactions to doping. To do that, riders are blood-tested 50 times a year, at least five times more than usual. In the program, they are also urine-tested 50 times a year

In Slipstream’s program, each rider’s blood and urine samples would be tested by an outside lab, then sent to an independent agency to be analyzed. That agency would then compile a biological record of each rider, including his levels of hemoglobin, naturally occurring steroids and red blood cell count. Over time, the information gathered would show what was normal for each individual. Team management has asked WADA to audit those results.

If any part of a rider’s biological record changes markedly — for example, if his natural steroid level skyrockets — it could be an indication of doping, or of a drug for which there is not yet a test. In that case, the athlete has agreed to sit out for two weeks to undergo further drug testing to see what caused the anomaly.

This means that there is a physiological profile for each rider on the team. Use a substance, your body reacts to it in many a subtle way. By monitoring not only the presence of the illegal substance, but also the body's natural, and unnatural, reaction to its presence a doper can be caught almost immediately.

A person can figure out how to fool a drug screen. It is almost impossible to fool the body. Even if you think you have, the body knows. This is what ACE is testing. Brilliant!

When A Maus Attacks!

Right then. Casmall had his chance here. LaPH had her chance here. That two day deadline she threatened with has long since passed. So, leave it to a wee little Maus to take over the Armchair world. And one never knows what topic I may focus on because I'm crazy like that.

I just finished reading an excellent little blog post that made me laugh. Agincourt was just looking at me funny as a result. A previous post of mine introduced you all the new Speedo LZR racing suit that the world is sporting these days. Now, over at swimnetwork.com, there is a hilarious blog post by Obnoxious Swim Mom. She details the agony that can go along with donning the LZR.

I can only imagine the difficulty. The initial creations of fast suits that I was able to wear was indeed a challenge. To get it on, I almost had to adopt a pee-pee dance motion to pull that thing up. And heaven forbid you had to try and get it on if you were wet. And getting it off was no piece of cake either.

Ah...such fond memories!

When Amazons Attack!

I know that this is supposed to be a blog for all, run by Casmall. I respect that. But...

I'M TAKING OVER!!!

Well, let me rephrase that in a kinder, more gentle way:

If no one breaths some life into this half-abandoned little blog, I'm cannibalizing it. You will all soon be contributors on a feminist blog, like it or not!

You have two days.

My Suit is Better Than Yours

Here is my attempt to give some love to The Journal of Modern Armchair Philosophies. I'm not sure if anyone will find this intriguing, but I do. I was a swimmer. I started at age 5. I was on my first team at age 7. I swam on a high school team that was state champs for 13 straight years, until we lost my senior year. I swam in college. All told, over ten years of my life was spent in the pool. I can still recall the first "fast" suit I had in high school. My mom said it was too revealing. I can still recall the "fast" suit we got in college. It was the first neck style body suit and it was awesome. I don't know if the suit made me faster, but I can assure you it sure made me *feel* faster...and sometimes it is all in your head.

Now, Speedo has unveiled its fastest suit ever. The Speedo LZR; it's a body suit with plastic panels that hit all the parts of a human body that inherently create drag in the water. The problem? Well, some say that it is technolgical doping. Others say it is an unfair advantage because not everyone can afford the $500 price tag.

World records are dropping like flies. The Olympics this summer are going to be a swimming sight to behold. So, is it cheating to have the best suit ever? FINA has given the suit its okay. Is that enough? Or is it really cheating? I'd have to say no. Any number of sporting events add in technological advancements. At least it's not drugs, right?

We're Doomed.

It's supposed to be Monkey vs. Robot - not Monkey AND Robot!

Someone Else's New Year's Resolutions

I find myself undecided about New Year's Resolutions. Maybe it is because they never seem to change for either myself or any number of people who try to make them. It should not take the change of a year to commit to exercising more. Nor should it take me five changing of years to quit smoking. Why on earth do we wait? No, let me be more appropriate...why on earth do I wait?

So, since my resolutions are the same as they were last year, I am offering up someone else's resolutions because some of them made me chuckle and I find that a grand way to start 2008.